What are the steps of writing a story?

Dear Writer Guy,

I’ve been thinking for a long time now about writing a book…. Please give me directions on how to set about writing the book?

Sincerely,
Adam

Dear Adam,

Here are the steps I usually follow when writing a fiction story:

Inspiration. A main idea kicks off the story writing process. Sometimes it’s a great title (like TROUBLE IS MY BEESWAX). Sometimes it’s a what-if question (what would happen if a vegetarian was forced to work on a cattle ranch?).
Questions. Ask, what is my story about? Who’s the main character? What does the main character want, and what prevents him/her from getting it?
Brainstorming. Come up with lots of dumb ideas and eventually a good idea pops up. Remember the Rule of Nine: For every ten ideas you come up with, nine will suck. But you don’t get to that great idea until you go through all the lame ones.
Structure. Think about the beginning and ending. Roughly plot out story events before starting to write — but leave some parts blank, so you’ll have the fun of discovery.
Sloppy first draft. Write that first draft as fast as possible. Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, details, or whether things make sense. The first draft is supposed to be a mess. Don’t get it right; just get it written.
Revision. Let your first draft cool off for at least a week. Then rewrite. And rewrite. And rewrite.

Enjoy the process,

Hey!